Sexual Abuse, the Church, and the Secretary of Defense
Oct 03, 2025This week in a public meeting with all the four-star generals of the United States Military, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced a "no more walking on eggshells policy." By this he means the US military will liberate its commanders and NCO's and no longer put "complainers, ideologues and poor performers in the driver's seat." By this he means "No more frivolous complaints. No more anonymous complaints. No more repeat complainants. No more smearing reputations. No more endless waiting. No more legal limbo. No more sidetracking careers."
Perhaps you are starting to get what he means?
Pete Hegseth was accused of sexual assault in 2017, and eventually paid out a $50,000 settlement to his accuser. Another accusation was released in 2025, this time from Hegesth's former sister-in-law, who claims the Secretary of Defense made his second wife "fear for her safety."
But we don't want complainers to be able to smear someone's reputation or sidetrack their careers, do we?
Anyone who has been part of the Church system for a long enough time will recognise this tactic from those in power. Complaints are dismissed as frivolous, insignificant, just designed to wreck someone's career or reputation. Victims are denounced and gaslit. Abuse is swept under the rug to protect the positions of men who present a repeated pattern of harm. Yet repeated "complaints", as we see above, are portrayed as somehow less reliable, not more reliable.
This is all preaching from the common abuser's hymnal, and it has the function and purpose of shutting up victims and whistleblowers.
This is why we need the course that David Ruybalid has created now more than ever. It is entitled Sexual Abuse and the Church, and it will take you and your leadership team through a comprehensive journey of what to do when allegations of abuse come to you. Please consider this course as an essential tool for combatting not only hidden abuse cycles but also the men in power who are committed to keeping it hidden.
You may also want to look at Danielle Strickland's Five Key Shifts for Leading Through Disclosures, in which she will personally help guide your team through abuse disclosure.
We must do better than what the Secretary of Defense outlined to the US military. We must do better than the way many Churches handle abuse allegations and treat victims. We CAN do better. Please join us in doing so.
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